Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
