areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
