I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
