i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
