how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
