I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize