dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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