I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
