can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
