Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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