ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My feet surprised me
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