Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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