do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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