Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
