Will you blow on my dice?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
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It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
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You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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