We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
In America we eat man semen.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
