Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
