To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
