well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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