I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
