if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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