me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
