i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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