oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
