omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
