Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
