The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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