just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
