I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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