You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
