why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
