Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Someone shit on the floor
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
