Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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