I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
