I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
