hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
