I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
