Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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