I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
