You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
