I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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