Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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