Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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