my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
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This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
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All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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