erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
