That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
