Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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