aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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