You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
