see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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