I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
