ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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