you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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