Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
