Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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