Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
