i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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