You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
