he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
