This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
