Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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