Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
